


Be Your Everything

by Cocobean2913 (cocobean2913), Sxymami0909



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Everyone Is Alive, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, Idiots in Love, Lydia doesn't love Malia like at all, New Relationship, Sassy Lydia, Sassy Stiles, Senior Year of High School, insecure Lydia, mildly AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-13 06:39:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2140896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cocobean2913/pseuds/Cocobean2913, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sxymami0909/pseuds/Sxymami0909
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles and Lydia are finally together. But with every new relationship comes a new set of trials and tribulations. Everyone is fallible, they’re only human after all. Everyone has insecurities and sometimes those insecurities can push away the people you love. Will Stiles and Lydia be able to work past their insecurities? Or will they get the best of them and destroy their budding relationship before it even really begins?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Request: from Anonymous on Tumblr, Stydia + Human by Christina Perri

Lydia grabbed her AP Physics book from her locker, the sound of students milling about heading to classes drifting around her. It was early Friday afternoon and the day seemed to be going by slower than usual, not that she really minded. Lydia loved school, especially the weeks where she didn’t have to run around half cocked attempting to find dead bodies or lie to teachers about where she and her friends were.

She closed her locker door, slipped her book into her purse and tugged it over her shoulder as she turned and made her way down the hallway towards the outdoor lunch area not quite able to keep the smile off her face. Lunch, while not an academic class, was one of her favorite parts of the day because not only did she get to spend time with her best friend, but she also got to spend a good thirty to forty uninterrupted minutes with her boyfriend.

Yes, it sounded ridiculous and girly, and she’d never admit out loud just how much she looked forward to it, but a lot had happened over the past year and Lydia had finally been able to push her fear and doubt aside and just go after what she wanted. So now, she fully intended to enjoy the boy in question.

Lydia pushed through the double doors, people parting out of her way by reflex, and walked across the quad until she spotted her friend’s at their usual table. She crossed the distance quickly, her heels making a heavy clicking noise against the pavement. She spotted Scott, Allison, Isaac, and Kira already there and her brows drew together. She plopped down on one of the benches, dropping her bag beside her and drawing her friends attention to her. “Where’s Stiles?”

Stiles rushed out of the school building. As he walked across the quad, he adjusted his backpack and sighed. He was late. Coach wanted to talk to him about his Economics paper. When he was finished with that, he'd headed to his locker to exchange his books and meet Lydia, but when he got there, Malia was waiting for him. They'd been broken up for just about six months, but Stiles still considered her a friend and she was still a member of the pack. So when she asked him for his Calculus notes, he wasn’t going to just brush her off. After handing over his notes, he had rushed towards the quad catching the tail end of Lydia’s sentence.

Stiles smiled widely when he heard Lydia say his name. Scott must have seen him come into the quad, because he had a slight smirk on his face. Stiles gave him a nod as he walked up behind Lydia and wrapped his arms around her from behind. “You looking for me?” He whispered near her ear as he nuzzled her neck and tightened his hold on her briefly.

This was his favorite part of finally being with Lydia. The ability to touch her and hold her whenever he wanted and to feel her react like he had always dreamed she would. Honestly, every once in a while he'd catch himself counting his fingers to make sure the last three months weren't a dream.

Lydia tilted her head to the side and grinned, “I was,” she replied as she shifted to make some room on the bench beside her. She ran a hand down his arm that was still around her and then patted the empty space with her other hand, “Everything okay?” She asked concerned wondering why he’d been late.

Stiles slid onto the bench next to her. “Everythings fine.” He smiled reassuringly at her, intertwining his fingers with hers when her hand reached his. “Coach needed to talk to me about my Econ paper and Malia needed my Calc notes.” He squeezed her hand. “How was class?”

Lydia nodded, “Class was fine, predictable,” she said with a sigh as she rolled her eyes jokingly and squeezed his hand gently.

Scott snorted from across the table. “Name a class that isn’t predictable for you,” he joked good naturedly as he popped a french fry into his mouth. Lydia was pretty much the smartest person he knew outside of Stiles.

Isaac nodded in agreement as he bit into his pizza. “Speaking of predictable, you’re planning on sharing the notes for that Lit. test right?” He asked, his expression hopeful.

Lydia looked away from Stiles and over to Isaac. She shrugged, “Don’t I always?” She asked with an arched brow. Most of the pack didn’t exactly get a lot of time to study with everything that happened in Beacon Hills. So Lydia was used to sharing her notes.

Isaac smiled and continued eating.

"So what's the plan for the weekend?" Allison asked, digging out a bag of cookies from her bag. "It's Friday and there’s no immediate danger. Let's do something fun for once." Allison continued. Things had been so crazy over the last year that they were just not starting to get back into the groove of being normal. And normal meant having fun.

Stiles turned his head and looked over towards Allison. "I have a date with a strawberry-blonde 5'3”, green eyed beauty. You might know her.” He paused, mischief in his gaze, “So I won't be making it to any kind of pack bonding hangouts tonight." He joked with a smirk. He turned his head and winked at Lydia. "What do you think? You. Me. Movie. Popcorn. My couch?" He asked her bringing their combined hands up to his mouth to kiss her knuckles.

Lydia tried to fight back the smirk that desperately wanted to make it’s way onto her face, “That’s a little presumptuous of you don’t you think? Maybe I want to hang out with my best friend,” she teased even as her stomach fluttered slightly at the feel of his lips brushing against her knuckles again as he watched her.

Stiles chuckled silently leaning into her. “It’s not presumptuous. It’s romantic.” Stiles knew that Lydia was playing with him. Every Friday night since they had become a couple, barring any supernatural emergencies, had been movie night Friday for them. Alone. No Pack allowed. “But if you want to change the plans, I’m sure Scott, Isaac and Liam would love to cuddle on the couch and watch a movie with me.” Stiles turned his head to the three werewolves. “Isn’t that right boys?”

Scott nodded as he ate another fry, “Of course, I never turn down cuddling,” he replied with a grin.

Isaac scrunched his nose, “I don’t want to cuddle with you, but I like movies and popcorn,” he replied as he tugged lightly on his scarf.

Liam, who had just sat down a minute ago and was kind of lost with the conversation, glanced between them. “That’s a joke right?” He asked brows drawn together.

Lydia chuckled, “Yes, it’s a joke. The only person allowed to cuddle with Stiles is me,” she said matter-of-factly as she leaned into him and pressed a light kiss to his cheek.

“Hey!” Scott said shooting a disgruntled look in Lydia’s direction.

“Aww Scottie, don’t worry, I will cuddle with you on Saturday.” Stiles winked at him. He turned to Lydia and squeezed her hand. “So, you want to do movie night or pack bonding night. I’m sure Liam would love some cuddle time too.”  Stiles couldn’t help but laugh out loud when he heard Liam choke on his coke.

Liam couldn’t understand what was happening at the moment. One minute he was drinking his coke and the next Stiles was offering Lydia up for cuddle time. He still didn’t understand the weird relationships surrounding him, but he was learning...slowly. “Yet again, no idea what is going on?” Liam said trying to regain his breath.

Lydia slapped Stiles’ arm gently, “You’re terrible,” she told him pointedly knowing exactly what the mischief in his eyes meant. “And if you keep offering me up for cuddle time, one of these days I’m going to make you keep your word and then where will you be?” She asked with a slight grin.

She heard Allison and Scott chuckle as they continued eating across from them.

“Um I’m pretty sure I would be back to where I was Sophomore year. Puppy dog eyed and heart broken.” Stiles deadpanned. “Kinda like Liam over there.” Stiles couldn’t help himself. It was so fun messing with Liam over the semi-crush he had on his girlfriend. “Anyway, Lyds, you gonna put me out of my misery and tell me we our having us time? I need to know if I’m making other plans.” Stiles turned his head and looked at Allison and Scott. “You two stop laughing. I’m pretty sure the two of you need to stop acting like you aren’t having secret romantic cuddle time. It’s the worst kept secret in the pack. Even Derek mentioned it the other day after the meeting.”

Scott opened his mouth and then closed it quickly. He made a face, “It’s not a secret...we’re just private people...mostly,” he commented before pointing at Stiles, “And cut it out, leave poor Liam alone,” he said with a grin. “Let us not forget what you were like at his age.” He told his friend.

Isaac laughed, “What all of us were like. Did you forget I asked Lydia out once?” He asked amused.

Lydia rolled her eyes, “Oh great, here we go again. Things were different then okay? I didn’t mean to laugh at you,” she said with half a smile before glancing back at Stiles. “And yes, movie night, but not if you keep it up with that mouth.” She joked.

Isaac glared at her, trying very hard not to laugh. “It happened, Lydia, and yes I am going to remind you of that every time I can. I was fragile. You hurt me emotionally.” Isaac couldn’t help the laugh that was about to bubble out of his mouth.

And the entire table starting laughing hysterically.

Lydia pursed her lips. “Real cute guys,” she rolled her eyes and glanced at Allison, “You’re supposed to be my best friend,” she said in mock anger before turning her gaze onto Stiles, “And you,” she poked him, “You’re always supposed to take your girlfriends side.”

Stiles was about to say something when the bell rang. “Saved by the bell literally.” He said, standing up and pulling Lydia up with him. He grabbed his backpack and nodded towards Scott “I’ll see you in Chem,” he said and pulled Lydia with him towards the double doors that led to the hallway for her next class.

He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close as he pushed the door open. “Just so you know,” he whispered into her ear, breath warm against her skin, “I will always take your side, girlfriend or not.” Stiles smiled against her cheek and kissed it lightly. “I’ll see you after lacrosse practice.” And with that he was letting go of her and walking in the opposite direction towards his Chemistry class, smile on his face.

______

 

Lydia sat in the passenger side of the jeep legs crossed, hands resting over her knee as she glanced out the window silently. It was later than they’d planned their movie night for, but that was because once again Malia had called Stiles when they were on their way to pick up a movie and he dropped everything to go help her.

Lydia understood that Stiles and Malia were still friends, she knew that was important to him because Malia was still part of the pack. But it was starting to get on her nerves how every time they were together Malia miraculously had a problem and Stiles could just never say no to helping. Technically Lydia knew she shouldn’t be mad about that because Stiles would help anyone in the pack, that’s just who he was.

But at the same time he and Malia also had history and she didn’t want the other girl getting the wrong idea. Lydia held in a sigh as she continued watching the scenery go by as they drove in the direction of Stiles’ house, deciding to just watch one of his movies instead.

Stiles kept glancing at Lydia. She had been unusually quiet ever since Malia had called. He had a feeling in the pit of his stomach he knew what might be upsetting her. They had been on their way to get a movie for their movie night when Malia had called. She had gone into the woods and got spooked by something, causing her to trip and tumble down the rough terrain and impaling her leg with a branch. She couldn’t walk and in a panic had called Stiles. So being the good guy he was, and a loyal pack member, he detoured his and Lydia’s date night to go help Malia.

It had been awkward to say the least. His new girlfriend going to help him with his wounded ex-girlfriend on what was suppose to be date night. But Stiles couldn’t just let Malia, or the pack, down like that. Even though they weren’t together anymore and he was very much in love and with Lydia, he still cared for Malia as a friend and pack member.

Their breakup had been tricky. They had been dating for over a year when things with Lydia started getting complicated and old feelings were surfacing again. It came to a tumultuous explosion between him and Lydia, in the rain of all places, where she finally admitted that she had feelings for him.. That led to Stiles making a very complicated decision. He had feelings for Malia. He cared for her, but leading her on when he still had feelings for Lydia was unfair to everyone, Lydia included. So he sat down with Malia and they talked. It ended up being a mutual decision in the end.

Stiles had went to Lydia the day after the break-up. He had explained what happened and that he was no longer with Malia. He then told her that he didn’t want to just jump into another relationship. He wanted what they had to really have a chance to work. He also didn’t want to rub his new relationship in Malia’s face. She was still pack even after everything and he didn’t want to ruin the relationships she had built.

So they took their time and waited three months until things had calmed down. Stiles had been so nervous to ask Lydia on their first date. He had mumbled through the asking part babbling and rambling and at one point almost took her out with his flailing limbs. But in the end she had smiled at him, taking his hand in hers and interlocking their fingers, simply answering yes. And now three months later they were together and happy.

At least they were until tonight. Stiles took another glance at Lydia and spoke. “I’m sorry our movie night got interrupted. Do you want me to take you home, or do you feel like trying again?”

Lydia pressed her lips together, “If I wanted to go home Stiles, I would have already asked you to take me home,” she told him finally glancing away from the window and in his direction. She was annoyed. Not really about tonight, but in general. It had been obvious when they got to the woods that Malia was genuinely hurt and Lydia had no problem helping, she was after all part of the pack.

But, this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. This was the fourth or fifth date of theirs that Malia had interrupted and Lydia was starting to think  it was becoming a pattern.

Stiles sighed out loud, making the turn down his street. “I was just making sure. You’ve been unusually quiet over there. And in Lydia terms that means deep thinking.” He pulled into the driveway and parked the jeep. “So would you like to share with the class why you’re so annoyed right now?” he shifted slightly to turn and face her, lifting his hand gently to wipe some of her hair out of her face.

Lydia was silent for a long moment trying to figure out the best way to say what she wanted to say. “This is the fifth time Stiles. The fifth time that we’ve attempted to spend a night away from the pack, just you and me, and she’s interrupted us.” She replied softly as she met her boyfriends gaze. “I understand she was hurt tonight and I’m glad we were able to help her, but...this isn’t the first time this has happened and I’m seriously starting to think she’s doing this on purpose.”

She took a deep breath, “And no matter what we’re doing, you always drop everything and we go or you go and I wait for you to get back. I’m not sure you get how that makes me feel.” Lydia looked away from him, “Last week we were practically naked in your bed trying to get in a little quality time before your Dad got home and she calls and you leave to go help her. A couple of weeks before that she invited herself onto our date when her ‘date’ didn’t go so well.”

Lydia still wasn’t convinced Malia had, had a date at all. “I just...it bothers me how willing you are to just drop everything for her. You’re a good guy Stiles, you always have been, but I’m starting to think it’s more than that.” Her chest tightened, “You were with her for over a year...maybe,” Lydia hesitated, “Maybe you’re not as over her as you thought you were.” She murmured.

Stiles just stared at Lydia, listening and taking everything in. He understood where she was coming from. He knew that he had come to Malia’s aide alot recently but he didn’t realize it had been so many times. And in all honesty, he didn’t really think Malia had it in her to be that manipulative. Yes, he had moved on to Lydia but Malia had accepted that. At least he thought she had. But all of that rambling in his head stopped the moment he heard Lydia question his feelings for her.

Stiles froze at her words. As he stared at her, he replayed her words over in his head. Had she really just questioned his feelings for Malia. Had she really just questioned his feelings for _her_. Stiles was overcome with emotions of anxiety, anger and extreme hurt all at once. He turned towards the steering wheel and turned off the engine. He took a quick glance over at Lydia, before pulling the key out of the ignition. She was staring at her hands in her lap. He cleared his throat and opened his door, jumping out and closing it behind him.

Lydia blinked when she heard the car door open and then shut. She glanced up over at the driver’s side and frowned when she spotted Stiles outside. It took her a minute to stiffly push open her door and get out not sure what was happening. He hadn’t said a word and that was making her incredibly anxious. Lydia closed the jeep door quietly and then hesitantly walked around the front of it until she was standing across from Stiles. She glanced around, “What are you doing? I’m trying to talk to you Stiles…” she paused, “Did you want to talk inside?” She asked confused.

Stiles didn’t know what he was doing. He was trying hard not to panic. He was trying hard not to get angry. He noticed her coming in front of him and he knew exactly what needed to happen. “Can you come upstairs with me please?” He asked with the most stable voice he could muster up. He passed her silently walking towards the pathway taking the stairs two at a time and opening the front door leaving it open for her to follow.

Lydia hesitated, not entirely able to read his tone. But she pushed herself forward and followed Stiles up the stairs and into the house. She closed the door behind her and stayed silent, anxiety welling in her stomach. She had no idea what was going through his head and Lydia didn’t like that.

Stiles walked down the hallway, pushed his bedroom door open and went straight over to his bed. He lifted the cover up over his bed and started searching under it for something. When he finally placed his hands on it, he stood up and turned to face Lydia. She was standing just in the doorway and she looked so confused and worried. “To answer your question,” Stiles began, “I was with Malia for almost a year. So yes, I do have feelings for her. I care about her. She brought me back from a bad place. But during that time, Lydia, do you want to know what I remember the most??”

Lydia shifted on her feet feeling more nervous than she ever actually remembered feeling around Stiles, which was unlike her. She tried to ignore the fact that it hurt to hear someone else had brought him back from the darkness and not her. She pressed her lips together, “What do you remember most?” She asked, her tone reserved.

Stiles looked at her. “Getting to really know you as a person, not just someone I idolized or loved from a distance.” Stiles hesitated and began again. “We became friends, and during that time I fell in love with you for who you are. Lydia, during the whole Jackson and Aiden thing and every other guy I watched you with, my hope for a chance with you diminished.” He glanced down and played with the flimsy journal in his hand. “You asked me if I still had feelings for Malia. My answer is yes I do. I care for her as a pack member and a friend. And if you doubt that, or anything else, I think you need to read this.” He walked up to her and handed her the journal. “You can doubt a lot of things Lydia, but you can never doubt my feelings for you will trump every other feeling I’ve ever had for another girl.”

Lydia glanced down at the journal in his hands and took it from him slowly. She looked up at Stiles and met his gaze, “What is this?” She asked her heartbeat picking up speed as her eyes once again dropped down to the journal. She was almost afraid of the answer, afraid that the small book in her hands held things that would confirm what a terrible person she was.

Stiles stared at his girlfriend, shifting from foot to foot, trying to figure out a way to explain the book. “I guess you could consider it a love letter, journal and diary rolled into one, that I have been writing in since the end of Sophomore year.” Stiles shifted his gaze to the ground. “Basically it’s every feeling I have ever felt for you in the past two years, Lydia. After you read that, I will literally be an open book.”

Lydia glanced down at the book in her hands surprised that Stiles would write everything he was feeling down. She pressed her lips together as her gaze found his again. “Why now? What does this have to do with what we were talking about? What I was trying to talk about?” She corrected trying to read the expression on his face and failing.

Stiles sighed loudly, rubbing his fingers through his hair and sitting down on his bed. “I’m giving it to you now because you're questioning my feelings for you, Lydia.” He stopped and took in a deep breath, trying not to get angry. “And it’s relevant because it documents every single feeling I've ever had for you. Lydia, I have been in love with you since the third grade but I didn’t _really_ know you then. And when I started to get to know you, the real you, it made my feelings even stronger. I had to sit there and watch you go from guy to guy, when I was right here in front of you the whole time. So yes, when Malia started showing interest in me I decided it was time to move on. That book in your hand will show you that I never really did that.” Stiles looked up at her and just stared. “I would really like you to read it ok?”

Lydia’s chest tightened at his words as the familiar feelings of guilt stirred in her stomach. He was right. She had gone through guy after guy, but what Stiles didn’t know was that it wasn’t because she hadn’t cared. Lydia had started seeing him a lot sooner than she was ready to admit to herself or to him. And that was a large part of the reason there were so many guys. “Do you want me to read it right now?” She asked clutching the book in her hands as she started to shift towards his desk chair not sure if he wanted her to stay or not.

Stiles didn’t want Lydia to leave, but he also didn’t want her to read it in front of him. If he was being honest with himself, he just wanted to go to sleep and have a redo of this conversation in the morning. “Actually,” Stiles started standing up and walking to her, “I don’t want you to read it in front of me.” He cupped her cheeks in his hands and put his forehead to hers. “I don’t want you to leave either.”

“But also don’t want me to stay,” Lydia whispered softly. She could feel the hint of moisture gathering in her eyes and she nodded. “I’m sorry about earlier.” She told him as she held his gaze letting one of her hands reach out and grip his waist. She hesitated, “If I leave here right now...we’re still going to be okay, right?” She asked quietly wanting to make sure that she hadn’t messed things up that bad.

Stiles swallowed hard hating the uncertainty he saw in her face. “Lyds, we're going to be fine. You don’t have to worry about that...ever. I love you, Lydia Martin. Nothing you say or do will change that. I just need the night, okay?” He brought his face back and lifted his finger to her chin to bring her eyes level with his. “Do you want me to drive you home?”

Lydia swallowed hard and shook her head, if Stiles needed the night, she’d give it to him. She’d rather stay with him, but she understood and she loved him enough to give him the space he needed. “No, I’ll call Allison,” she replied softly as she leaned into him, still holding the book in the hand that wasn’t on him. “I love you too, you know that don’t you?” She asked softly as she held his gaze.

Stiles heart dropped to his stomach. “I do know you love me. It’s still kind of unreal to me that the feeling is finally mutual, but yes I know.” He felt horrible that she would even have to ask him that. He just needed the night to get his head straight. He pushed the hair out of her face as he released her. “Will you text me when you get home please?” Stiles asked softly. “Let me know when you're done reading the journal and want to talk. Okay?”

“Okay,” she nodded before leaning in and wrapping her arms around his neck. “I’ll text you when I get home.” Lydia wasn’t sure why she was so upset, Stiles didn’t seem mad and it seemed like everything was okay. But she couldn’t help being worried about what was in the book. It sounded ridiculous but she was almost afraid to see herself from Stiles’ perspective. She pulled back a minute later and let out a short breath, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Lydia promised.

Stiles smiled back at her, leaned it and kissed her gently on the forehead. “I'll talk to you tomorrow.” He said to her stepping back and letting her walk out of his room to go call Allison. He turned around once he heard her descending the stairs and grabbed his phone off his desk. He opened a new message and sent Scott a text letting him know he needed to get to his house asap. Stiles needed a sound board, someone to give him advice and if anyone could do that for him it was Scott.


	2. Chapter 2

Lydia sat on Allison’s bed staring down at the book in her hands. Her best friend had picked her up from Stiles’ close to a hour and a half ago and the second she’d gotten in Allison's car she’d burst into tears. She was doing better now, but she was still feeling so uncertain and staring at the book in front of her wasn’t helping. She’d gotten halfway through it before having to stop as another bout of tears spilled from her eyes.

Stiles loved her and she’d continuously hurt him over the years a lot of times without even realizing it. And yet, he never once had anything negative to say about her as a person. Sure he talked about himself negatively and about how he wasn’t good enough for her and how she’d be with anyone other than him. But never anything bad about her. Lydia hated that, that was what he’d been thinking all this time. Sure, maybe she’d never noticed him at first, but that had all changed after Jackson left town and Lydia got to know Stiles.

She hadn’t wanted to admit it at the time, but Lydia had cared about Stiles as more than a friend  for a while before she actually said anything. At first she’d been scared. She hadn't wanted to accept what she was feeling because her relationships never seemed to work out. And then he’d been with Malia and she hadn’t wanted to be that girl. Lydia hadn’t wanted Stiles to think the only reason she wanted him was because he was with someone else and so she said nothing, letting things fester until the night of that huge rainstorm in Beacon Hills where everything came to head.

Lydia let out a shaky breath the sound of footsteps in the hallway pulling her from her thoughts and signalling Allison was back from grabbing her a drink.

Allison had picked Lydia up from Stiles’ house over an hour ago. In that hour, she had watched her friend go from reading a journal to hysterically crying at least a handful of times. She wasn’t quite sure what to do, so she had offered to go get her a drink giving her some time to herself so she could process things.

Allison stopped at her doorway and leaned against the doorframe as she took Lydia in.  She was crumpled on her bed clutching the journal and sniffling. Allison sighed worriedly and cleared her throat walking into the room and handing Lydia the soda she brought her as she sat next to her on the bed. “You want to talk about why I picked you up from your boyfriend’s house on date night? Or maybe why you are clutching that journal and crying?” She asked rubbing Lydia’s back. “I’d really like to help you figure out how we can fix it, but I can’t do that if you don’t tell me.” Allison somewhat smiled at her.

Lydia sniffled, her eyes red rimmed as she glanced at Allison. “I’m a terrible person.” She whispered. She let out a shaky breath and glanced down at the the book. “We got into a little bit of an argument tonight.” She pursed her lips. “Malia got hurt earlier in the preserve so we went to go pick her up...and I got upset.” She explained as she reached up to wipe her eyes.

Allison huffed at her best friend. “You aren’t a terrible person. Couples fight.” Allison told her flatly. “Malia called Stiles _again_?” Allison asked confused, she knew that had been happening a lot lately and she could understand why Lydia had finally said something since it had been bothering her for a while now. “What does that have to do with the journal?” Allison asked confusion and curiosity etched on her face.

Lydia glanced at her best friend when she heard how flatly Allison said Malia’s name. She reached out and squeezed her best friend’s arm. At least she wasn’t the only one who thought the other girl was calling Stiles too much. “I love you,” she said before letting out another short breath. “I know she was actually hurt and I get why we went to help her...but god they dated for a long time and she’s always there and I just,” she paused hesitating. “I know what it’s like to be with someone who cares about everything more than me...and I’m not saying Stiles is like that.” She rushed on, “But lately I’ve been feeling like maybe he still has feelings for Malia...and I told him that in the car.” She explained.

Lydia dropped her gaze to the book, “This is his journal. Stuff he’s written about...about me and how I’ve made him feel and how he feels about me.” her voice trailed off. “I hurt him...every time I was with someone else. Every time I chose someone else over him. But he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t get it,” she said her hand tightening on the book. “I wasn’t with other people because I didn’t care about him...I was with other people because I cared too much.”

Allison frowned at her best friend and squeezed her hand. “You know what I'm about to tell you don’t you?” She watched as her best friend looked up at her with pursed lips. “You need to tell him that. And also you're not a terrible person. You're a great person and Stiles loves you very much. You shouldn't doubt that.” Allison responded. “And just because he was with Malia that doesn’t mean he didn’t want to be with _you_. You just weren’t ready yet. He knew that.” Allison said as she grinned at Lydia and added, “I just don’t think he expected you to decide to admit your feelings in a Tsunami. Stiles still says the week in bed from the cold he caught was worth it.”

Lydia chuckled softly at Allison’s words, “Yeah, he does say that doesn’t he?” She asked as her thoughts drifted back to that night.

_Lydia stood beside Scott. Derek, Allison, and Isaac were off to the side as she watched Deaton patching up Stiles who sat on the metal table in front of them. Her arms were crossed over her chest, eyes narrowed as she stared at the idiot in front of her. Her hair was wet, her cheek and arm throbbing where she’d been hit and grabbed earlier, no doubt there would be a bruise or two tomorrow, and a scowl currently played on her lips._

_Lydia was furious. Stiles was an idiot, though that shouldn’t surprise her, but this, this was worse than anything he’d done before. She felt Scott shift beside her and watched as he frowned in Stiles’ direction before moving around her and stepping forward resting a hand on Stiles’ forearm, black veins traveling up his arm the second he touched him._

_Lydia swallowed heavily at the sight. She kept her focus on Stiles trying to calm her rapidly beating heart. He was in pain...a lot of it. The room was silent as a flash of lightning filled the small space through the windows and then thunder clapped loudly not two minutes later. The sound of whistling wind could be heard despite the fact that they were inside with the windows closed and Lydia felt like the weather was currently modeling her mood._

_Stiles entire body throbbed. Deaton had given him something for pain but it wasn’t helping. He was keeping his eyes closed trying to breathe through the pain, when he felt someone touch him. His eyes shot open and he came face to face with Scott. He went to ask what he was doing when he felt the pain recede. He looked down and saw the black veins on his friends arm. He looked back up at Scott and sent him a tired smile. “Thanks, Scottie.” He whispered, breathing out finally getting some relief._

_Scott returned it with a half a smile of his own, “No problem man,” his words were quiet and he moved back as Deaton continued bandaging up Stiles’ side. Worry filled his gut as his eyes dropped to the wound. Stiles could have died tonight. The thought caused Scott’s chest to tighten and he let out a quiet sigh._

_Lydia pursed her lips and shifted angling her head to the side when Stiles winced as Deaton worked on his side and before she could stop herself she was talking. “What the hell were you thinking coming after us like that?” She asked her tone sharp._

_Stiles’ head whipped up towards Lydia. He knew she was fuming but honestly he didn’t really care at the moment. If she wanted to fight with him, he’d fight back. “I was thinking that I didn’t want to bury two of the most important people in my life, Lydia. I couldn’t get in touch with anyone so I went after you. Simple as that.” He shot back at her sharp tone._

_“You’re an idiot,” she stated annoyed by his lack of understanding why she was so upset even though that was her fault. Lydia crossed her arms over her chest. “So it’s okay for us to bury you because you couldn’t wait for Derek or Isaac to get back to you?” She asked her chest tight the thought making her heart clench._

_“Scott is a true alpha, he was protecting us just fine.” Which was mostly true. The hunters hadn’t hurt them at the time, though she was sure they would have eventually. “You have absolutely no regard for your own life and it’s infuriating. Don’t you get that?” She’d seen them take out that knife and when saw saw the metal glint in the light and then slide across Stiles’ side, Lydia had nearly had a heart attack. She was pretty sure she’d never screamed so loud, well un-banshee related anyway, and she’d never seen Scott get that angry either. He’d nearly taken the head off the hunter who hurt Stiles._

_Scott let out a grunt. “Yea, dude, that wasn’t your best plan coming in without the rest of the pack." Then again it wasn't the first time he'd done it and Scott knew it wouldn't be the last. That's just who Stiles was. He put their lives before his, always. "When they hurt you,” he paused, “I nearly lost it. All I could think about was that my best friend was dying because of yet another supernatural related problem...because of me.” Scott said quietly before glancing up at Stiles. “Next time please think before you head into a dangerous situation. Please.”_

_Stiles huffed and fought back the urge to jump from the table. He didn’t think his side would be able to handle the move at the moment, considering Deaton was still trying to stitch it up. Yes, it was reckless going after Scott and Lydia like that, but he hadn’t known what else to do. He’d seen one of his best friends get taken down with powdered wolfsbane by a group of rogue hunters and his other best friend get knocked unconscious then dragged off._

_Stiles hadn’t been about to let the hunters take them without finding out where they were going. So he’d followed them, calling the pack for back up. Only the pack hadn’t answered, so he’d taken action. “Lydia, I wasn’t really thinking when I barged in, okay. I couldn’t wait any longer. I didn’t know what the hunters wanted with you and Scott. I had to do something. So can you please stop throwing a tantrum? I got hurt. It happens. I didn’t die, everything is fine, lets just move on.” He snapped and then winced as Deaton pinched his skin together and threaded the needle through._

_Stiles took a deep breath not giving Lydia a chance to respond as he turned towards Scott and stared at his best friend. “And you, you don’t get to tell me to think before leaping into dangerous situations. Not when you and Lydia are in trouble. So can we please toss this in the win column and call it a night?” He grumbled tiredly ignoring the look of disapproval Scott sent him._

_Stiles turned to Deaton. “So Doc, as appreciative as I am for your patch work, are we almost done here? I’d really like to just go pass out so how about you prescribe me some awesome pain meds and send me on my way.” Stiles requested snarkily._

_“Actually--”_

_Deaton’s words were abruptly cut off by Lydia, “We’re not done with this conversation,” she told him not noticing the way their friends shifted the expressions on their faces growing uncomfortable. No one liked when Lydia and Stiles fought. It upset the dynamic of the group, but lately things had been tense between them._

_“You could have died Stiles, don’t you understand that?” She asked her tone serious. Lydia took a step towards the metal table so she was just a couple of feet in front of him. “Don’t you understand what that would do to us?” What it would do to her, she added silently. “Weren’t you the one who said death doesn’t happen to you but everyone around you? So why the hell are you trying to get yourself killed?” She inquired trying to keep the emotion out of her voice, though it was hard. Lydia thought she’d lost him tonight and those few seconds where she hadn’t known he was okay, before Scott went on his rampage had nearly broken her._

_Stiles clenched his fists as he gaped at Lydia’s words. “Actually I am over this conversation. I’m in pain and I’m done trying to justify saving you and Scott, Lydia. Plus your tantrum is making everyone uncomfortable.” He nodded his head to the four other people in the room who were now in the corner watching the scene unfold in front of them. “And really why do you even care anyway? It’s not like you’ve really been talking to me lately. It’s not like you would miss me.” Stiles regretted the words the moment he saw Lydia visibly flinch._

_Scott inhaled deeply, his gaze flickering to the redhead beside him as did Allison’s, Derek’s and Isaac's.  That definitely hadn’t been the right thing to say. None of them were stupid, he knew how Lydia felt about Stiles, so did Derek and Isaac. It was hard not to. When Malia and Stiles had been together, the pain and jealousy they’d smelled from her was clear. And now...well there was still pain, but there was also love. And Scott was pretty sure Stiles was the only one who hadn’t realized it._

_Lydia stared at Stiles for a solid minute, moisture gathering in her eyes. Is that what he honestly thought? That she didn’t care about him? How could he think that? Stiles was pretty much the person she cared about most outside of Allison and her mom. She pushed aside the hurt and focused on the anger she was feeling, that was easier. “You’re an asshole,” she bit out, pain filling her chest. She spun on her heels, shoved her way past Scott and made a beeline for the front of the veterinary office so she could leave not caring about the raging storm outside, just knowing that she needed to get out of that room before she said something she regretted...or something she didn’t regret._

_“Lydia, wait,” Stiles called after her as he watched her storm past Scott and through the front doors of Deaton’s office. He pushed off the metal table and stood up with a wince, grabbing his shirt even while Deaton insisted he wasn’t yet done. Stiles peered over at the doctor, “I’m good Doc. I have to go deal with the mess I just created. Thanks for patching me up.” He called over his shoulder as he passed by Scott to go after Lydia, ignoring his best friend calling his name._

_He pushed open the double doors and was bombarded with a gust of wind as he walked out into the storm, searching in the darkness for Lydia. Stiles squinted his eyes as rain pelted down on him. He spotted her walking about ten feet ahead of him and started towards her. “Lydia,” he yelled over the pouring rain, “I’m sorry please,” He grunted and gripped his side as he went after her, “You don’t even have a car,” he said the frustration clear in his voice, “Where the hell are you going?” He called out, finally catching up to her and grabbing her arm, turning her towards him._

_Lydia turned when he gently jerked her body in his direction, her wet hair whipping around and sticking to her shoulders and arms. “I’m going home. I don’t need you coming after me, you’ve made it perfectly clear that my concern is unwelcome and unwanted, so why don’t you go back inside and get out of the rain before you get sick,” she shouted over the storm, a chill starting to seep into her as her clothes stuck to her body._

_Stiles groaned in frustration. Lydia Martin was going to be the death of him. “Well I think going home is going to be a little hard, since you don’t have your car here. Remember it’s at the school. You know the place where you were kidnapped.” Stiles shouted over the torrential down pour. “And your concern isn’t unwanted, Lydia. I’m just confused. You have literally spent the past two months ignoring me, and all of a sudden you’re screaming and yelling at me because I saved your life!” Stiles spoke loudly as he reached forward and wiped the hair out of Lydia’s eyes so he could see her face. “I don’t understand this one-eighty you’ve got going on.”_

_The feel of his hand against her skin was mildly distracting, but she pushed through it and glared despite the rain dripping into her eyes. “I wasn’t ignoring you.” She scowled as she poked his chest with her finger. “God, Stiles for someone so smart you’re really acting like an idiot.” Her hair whipped around her face again as a gust of wind swirled past them making several downed branches skate across the ground._

_“Did you ever think that maybe I’ve been avoiding you because being around you is hard?” She shouted, “Did you ever think for one second that maybe I was avoiding you because it was the right thing to do?” Lydia hadn’t wanted to mess up Stiles’ relationship because he seemed happy, but the more time that went by, the more the need to tell him how she felt grew and so she distanced herself from him not wanting to be that girl. Another strong wind blew by making Lydia lose her balance and she stumbled slightly gripping Stiles’ arms to steady herself. She seriously needed to get the hell out of there._

_Stiles was dumbfounded. He was currently trying to process what Lydia was talking about, while trying not to freeze to death in the middle of the storm. “First off, will you please stop calling me an idiot. I’m starting to get a complex. And secondly, what the hell are you talking about?? What was the right thing to do?” Stiles questioned while gripping her arms tightly so she wouldn’t stumble again. She looked up at him and he arched an eyebrow at her. “You’re talking in circles, Lydia. Please, tell me what’s going on.”_

_Lydia let out a frustrated growl as she slammed her hands against his chest making a ‘smacking’ sound as her palms hit the wet fabric of his shirt. “Ugh you’re infuriating! I love you, you idiot! I’m in love with you,” she stressed the words, her eyes on his despite the storm happening around them, “And you’re with some other girl!” She accused._

_“Some girl who by the way isn’t the right girl for you because I am. I’ve always been the right girl it just took me a really long time to catch up. But I’m here now and you're not and god...that hurts.” She replied, her voice quavering. She pursed her lips, her heart slamming against her chest as she stood there staring at him, “Did you get it that time or should I repeat myself slower?”  She asked, though the words were really just to cover up the extreme hint of panic building in her chest at the fact that she just admitted she loved Stiles...and she did it out loud._

_Stiles was shocked as he stared at Lydia for what felt like forever. His mind was racing and his heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest as he went over Lydia’s words in his head. After what felt like hours, but was really only minutes, he finally snapped out of it and brought one arm up to the back of her neck and wrapped his other arm tighter around her waist. He leaned into her and laid his forehead against hers, breathing deeply and whispering against her face, “Can you please say that again? I need to make sure I heard you correctly. You know with the rain and everything.” He added with a slight grin._

_Most of the anger drained out of Lydia at his words and her hand came up gripping the side of his shirt gently, despite how wet it was. She inhaled deeply and let it out slowly before shifting her head back just a bit, water sliding down her face from the drops of rain hitting her as she met his gaze the grin on his lips mildly infectious. “I love you Stiles Stil--”_

_But Stiles didn’t let her finish. He crashed his lips against hers, pouring every ounce of what he felt into the kiss. His arm tightened around her when he felt her lean into him, moving her mouth over his with an enthusiasm that made him groan low in his throat._

_Lydia’s lips were soft beneath his and he couldn’t seem to get enough of them. He slid his hand from the back of her neck until it was cupping her cheek. Stiles urged her to part her lips and when she did he deepened the kiss, moving his mouth of hers furiously._

_Lydia slid one of her hands up gripping the back of his neck as she unconsciously shifted closer to his body, ignoring the howling wind around them and the damp clothes. All that mattered was Stiles and the fact that he was kissing her. She continued moving her lips, nipping gently at his bottom lip in the process, the act of kissing him leaving her completely breathless._

_Stiles couldn’t believe this was happening. He was kissing Lydia Martin and she was letting him. All of these thoughts were running through his mind while he explored her mouth, the feel of his lungs burning signaling the fact that he had to let go of her. He took another few seconds before breaking the kiss and inhaling heavily._

_Stiles opened his eyes and brushed his fingers against Lydia’s cheek as he glanced down at her, smiling when he saw her eyes were still closed. He rested his forehead against hers again, his lips centimeters away from hers. “I love you too.” He murmured, gripping her tighter, trying to convey every emotion he was feeling through his words._

_Lydia grinned, her hands gripping the collar of his flannel shirt, “I didn’t--I thought you had moved on,” she said honestly her voice probably getting lost in the sound of the rain and thunder, but knowing Stiles was probably close enough to hear it. “I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out,” she replied as she tilted her head up and glanced at him._

_Stiles lips pulled into a full on grin when she smiled back at him. He would never get over how beautiful she looked when she smiled, but nothing compared to how amazing she looked right this second, hair plastered to her neck, rain dripping down her face, eyes bright with love...for him. Maybe it was just the fact that she’d told him she loved him, but whatever. Stiles pulled back an inch and ducked his head so he could look her in the eyes. “I tried to move on. I actually thought I was doing a good job until about three months ago, when you showed up at my house all upset and we ended up falling asleep together on my bed. That morning I realized that I would never actually be over you.” He explained softly. “You'll always be the one girl that holds my heart, Lydia. So don’t ever apologize for taking so long, because what matters is that you figured it out and we're finally here.” He beamed, grinning at her as he bumped his nose against hers and leaned in to kiss her again._

_Lydia shifted back pressing a hand against Stiles’ chest as she took half a step back. She saw the confusion on his face and she shook her head. “And you have my heart,” she replied, “But if we’re going to do this, I want to do it right.” She pressed her lips together a slight shiver going down her body as her blouse stuck to her skin. “I don’t want to be the other girl. So enjoy that kiss because it’s the last one you’re getting until you no longer have a girlfriend.” She said pointedly while lifting her free hand and wiping her hair aside again, “I’m not gonna be that girl.” She added._

_Stiles caught Lydia’s gaze and nodded. “Okay, I’ll talk to Malia tomorrow morning. I don’t ever want you to feel like the other girl, Lyds, because to me you’re the only girl.” He stated, dropping his hand from her cheek and moving it to her hip. “So, you wanna go inside, so we can warm up? Scott’s probably gonna want to drive me home once we dry off, he can drop you off on the way okay?” He asked, dropping his hand to hers and intertwining their fingers, grinning at how right they felt together. He gently squeezed her hand as he pulled her towards the veterinary clinic, walking backwards. “Come on before one of us really does catch a cold,” He joked with a laugh, as they moved back towards the clinic._

_Lydia rolled her eyes as she let him lead her back towards the double doors feeling a lot lighter than she had earlier, “You’re an idiot,” she joked, but this time the words came out affectionately as she shifted closer to his body, once again shivering from the cold._

The sound of Allison’s voice drew her from the memory and she blinked rapidly a couple of times before glancing over at her friend. She arched an eyebrow as her hand clenched around the book again. “Sorry, what did you say?”

Allison smiled at her friend, “I said that you have nothing to worry about, especially with Stiles and Malia. Stiles is madly and obsessively in love with you. It’s actually quite nauseating watching the two of you together, especially with all the PDA and the constant declarations of love.” Allison teased, staring at Lydia, challenging her to deny the accusation. The truth was Allison had waited a long time for Stiles and Lydia to get together and now that they had, she was really happy for them.

Lydia tilted her head to the side as she shifted on the bed and nodded, “I guess you’re right,” she said though a part of her was still feeling some anxiety.

Allison watched Lydia for a minute before speaking, “I think you need a break from that book,” Allison stated, reaching for the book clutched in Lydia’s hands and wrenching it from her, “and get a good nights sleep.” She told her pointedly, “Why don’t you sleep here tonight? Then in the morning you can text Stiles and I’ll drive you over there. I guarantee that boy isn’t going to sleep tonight.” Allison smirked, reaching over on the nightstand to grab Lydia’s cell phone and pushing it into her hands.

“But don’t forget to text him and let him know you’re staying here. I really don’t feel like being woken up at three in the morning when he barges into the apartment frantic and looking for you. Okay?”

Lydia glanced down at the phone in her hands before looking up at her friend. “Yeah, I guess spending the night here would be nice. It’ll give me some time to think things through.” She responded as she turned to her phone again and typed out a message to Stiles letting him know she was staying at Allison’s and she’d text him in the morning. A minute later her phone beeped and when she glanced down she saw a text from Stiles with three simple words.

_‘I love you’_

Lydia’s heart warmed as she typed out her reply letting Stiles know she loved him too before reaching over and placing her phone back on Allison’s bedside table. She glanced at her best friend, “Thanks for being here tonight.” She said softly.

Alison wrapped her arm around her friend tightly. “That’s what best friend are for, Lydia.” She replied. “So you want to watch Bridesmaids and laugh until you can’t breathe?” Allison asked, getting off the bed and walking towards the desk to her laptop to grab the computer the sound of Lydia's soft laughter filling the room at her comment.

 

________

 

Stiles glanced at the phone screen in his hand, letting out a sigh of relief. Lydia had finally text him back. He quickly sent a message back telling her to call him when she was ready to talk and he would come pick her up. He walked over to his desk and laid his phone down before flopping down on his bed.

Stiles missed Lydia. He had a whole plan. His dad was working a double shift so he had been planning to convince her to stay the night. They would have ended up naked in his bed having some of his favorite kind of quality time. And then it had all gone to hell and he was sharing a bed with his best friend, feeling like shit, instead of his sexy as hell girlfriend. His ramblings were cut off when Scott shifted on the bed and looked at him.

“I can hear you thinking from here dude,” Scott was on his side glancing at Stiles with brows raised, “Are you ever going to tell me what had you and Lydia fighting so bad that she’s with Allison and not here with you?” He asked though he had an inkling of what it might be. He didn’t mind being there with Stiles. When Lydia had called Allison they’d been together and he’d left so she could pick her up and not long later he’d gotten a text from Stiles asking him to come over.

Stiles looked over at Scott a slight grin pulling at his lips. "Will you please get out of my head? I was actually just thinking the same thing." Stiles huffed and continued. "Malia called me tonight, she was hurt. So instead of going to get a movie with Lydia, we went to go get Malia. Long story short, Lydia was aggravated, questioned my feelings for her, I gave her my journal and then she called Allison. Basically in a nutshell I'm the biggest idiot on the planet at the moment." Stiles said in a rush of words. "And in the future, when Malia calls me for help again, and I'm with my girlfriend, I'm calling you and you can deal with it."

Scott arched an eyebrow at his best friend. He figured it had to do with Malia. As confident as Lydia was, their resident coyote seemed to be the girls only source of insecurities. “I have no problem doing that,” he responded, “But you’re not an idiot. These things happen man. You guys are just starting out and if I’m being honest we’ve all sort of sensed Lydia’s 'Malia' issues.” He admitted. “I probably should have clued you in, but Allison told me in confidence and I didn’t want Lydia to get upset with Allison for telling me...you know?” He asked lightly.

Stiles nodded at his friend. "No, I get it. I didn't realize how many times I had broken plans with Lydia to help Malia lately until she pointed it out." Stiles started saying, looking down at his hands in his lap. "I just wasn't really thinking. Malia has been such a big part of my life and I wanted to make sure she knew she could still count on me as her friend, that I wasn't just you know tossing her aside. I just didn't mean to make Lydia feel so insecure in the process." Stiles added. "I finally have _the_ girl I’ve wanted for years and I'm already messing it up.”

Scott reached out and patted Stiles’ shoulder. “You weren’t doing it on purpose man, it happens.” He said with understanding. “I think you just need to find the balance you know? Let Malia know you’re still there for her, but sometimes you’re not going to be able to drop everything to come because Lydia needs you too.” He explained. “You’ll get the hang of it eventually.” He said with a smile knowing his friend worried. Scott knew he still cared for Malia as a friend.

Stiles nodded again. “Thanks for the pep talk, Scottie.” Stiles patted his best friend’s arm. “I plan on talking to Malia on Monday, once I straighten things out with Lydia.” Stiles moved his arm and settled back against his headboard. “I guess you got your wish for tonight though, we get to have cuddle time.” Stiles chuckled, moving quickly when Scott tried to hit him with a pillow.

Scott dropped the pillow and laughed, shaking his head. “Or we can play some video games since it looks like I’m gonna be spending the night here...unless you don’t want me to.” He said with a tilt of his head and a grin on his face.

Stiles laughed out loud and moved off the bed to set up the video game console. “Put the pout away Scott and go get some food and sodas, you know where everything is. I'll set up the game. It’s going to be so much fun whipping your butt in some Halo tonight.” Stiles laughed, as his best friend walked out of the room muttering _you wish_ on the way.

 

___________

 

Lydia sat on Stiles’ bed the journal clutched in her hands as she waited for him to come back into his bedroom. It was early Saturday morning and Stiles had picked her up from Allison’s about fifteen minutes ago. She hadn’t slept well last night and she knew he must not have either with how early he’d texted her asking if she was awake. She’d replied and he’d left to get her not long after. But now, now she was nervous something that didn’t happen often with Lydia.

She’d finished reading the rest of his journal when Allison went to sleep last night and seeing things from his perspective had made her heart ache. Stiles was one of the best people she knew and knowing she’d unintentionally hurt him so many times made her feel terrible. Lydia knew she had to tell him, she had to explain why things had happened the way they had the past couple of years and just hope that he’d understand.

The sound of footsteps in the hallway pulled her from her thoughts and she shifted on the edge of his bed angling her body in the direction of the doorway as she waited for him to come into sight.

Stiles hadn’t slept at all last night, tossing and turning. By eight o’clock he was done waiting for her to text him, so he sent her a text asking her if he could come get her. He walked into his room and sighed.  “We had bagels and orange juice. Is that ok for breakfast?” Stiles questioned walking towards the bed and holding out the glass and the plate to her. “We can go get breakfast later if you want?”

Lydia shook her head finally releasing the journal and placing it next to her before reaching out for the glass and plate. “This is fine. We don’t have to go out.” She said taking a sip and resting the plate on her knee. She was silent for a minute before standing and walking over to his desk to put the glass and plate down. Lydia turned so she was facing Stiles again and pursed her lips. “We should talk about last night...and what you gave me.” She said diving right in. She didn’t want to beat around the bush, Lydia would much rather get everything out in the open.

Stiles sat on the edge of the bed, looked up at Lydia, and let out a deep breath. "I'm sorry for making you feel like I still had feelings for Malia. I didn't even realize what I was doing. I just didn't want her to feel like she couldn't count on me anymore. In doing that, I made you feel like you were unimportant and Lyds, nothing's further from the truth." He told her softly and then shifted on the bed. "Did you get a chance to read the journal?"

Lydia glanced down at the book that she’d placed on his bed. “It’s okay,” she responded quietly. “I did. I read it all.” She said as she looked up and met his gaze. Lydia pressed her lips together momentarily, and took a few steps closer to him so she was standing in front of him as he sat on the edge of the bed. “I think deep down I knew you didn’t have any feelings for her. I just...you're an amazing guy Stiles and I don’t think you realize how lucky I feel to have you. I don’t see myself the way you do. Sometimes I don’t understand why you’re with me after the way I treated you and everything I’ve done.” She explained not used to exposing so much of herself.

“So when you break plans with me or you put Malia first even unintentionally it brings me back to a time where I was so in love with Jackson and everything else was more important than me. And it makes me question myself, it makes me wonder if maybe I’m not good enough for you,” she whispered. “I know that sounds crazy, but I can’t help feeling insecure. You think you’re lucky to have me and the journal...god there’s so much, I just,” she hesitated, “I’m the one who’s lucky to have you. Not the other way around. Everything you wrote about...while you’re right about a lot, there’s so much you didn’t understand. So much that you should probably know.” She admitted, her heartbeat picking up speed.

Stiles urged her to sit beside him and when she did angling her body in his direction he turned towards her carefully and placed a hand gently on her leg. "Well, first off, Jackson was a jackass for not realizing what he had right in front of him. Secondly, I was just oblivious to what I was doing, and I can't apologize enough for it. Thirdly, Lyds, I want to hear anything you want to tell me, always.” Stiles replied, lifting her chin so she was looking into his eyes. “Anything okay?”

Lydia swallowed hard and nodded. She reached for the journal and rested her hand on it. “I’m sorry,” she whispered softly. “Stiles,” she paused and moistened her lips, “I never meant to make you feel the way you did. And this might sound crazy and you might not believe me, but after Jackson left...the summer we spent together, that we got to actually know each other…well it was one of the best summers I’ve had in a while.” She admitted.

“And I didn’t realize then that things had changed...not until the kiss.” She whispered.

Stiles put his hands on top of Lydia's, the one that was resting on the journal. "Lydia you don't have anything to apologize for. I didn't give you the journal to make you feel guilty. I gave you the journal so you would know how deep my feelings are for you." He said quietly, ducking down and looking at her. "That summer was the best summer of my life." He swallowed hard and sucked in a breath.

Stiles leaned forward and pressed his forehead against hers. "Is it wrong that I'm kind of glad you felt something at that point? I mean I seriously thought I was just imagining the the look on your face that day. Wishful thinking. " He replied with self deprecation.

Lydia rested a hand against his chest and leaned into him. “You weren’t.” She said softly, “But...I was scared. You made me feel things I hadn’t felt since Jackson. So,” she took a deep breath and let it out, “I found myself different distractions to keep my mind off of you,” she told him earnestly. “And then I was going to tell you how I felt after the Nogitsune,” she explained her chest tightening, “But you were with Malia and you seemed happy. I didn’t want to ruin that.”

Stiles grabbed her wrist lightly and put his arm around her waist, pulling her almost onto his lap. “The only reason I started dating Malia was because she was interested, and I thought maybe it was time to move on.” Stiles added. “It turned out to be a good thing in the end, I learned to love you as a friend, and realized that as hard as I tried to move on from you, I could never get you out of my head. Or heart for that matter.”

Lydia wrapped an arm around his neck, her expression softening. She brushed her thumb against his cheek as she leaned into him. “I’m sorry I got so upset and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the other stuff sooner.” She paused, “I know it always seems like I have everything together and yeah, I’ve been with a lot of guys...but I’ve only loved two. And it’s scary. Things went so horribly wrong the first time around and I don’t want that to happen to us. I want us to be able to be honest and talk about stuff like we always have.” She explained. “I don’t like feeling so insecure when it comes to us and I’m going to work on that I promise.”

Stiles leaned into Lydia’s touch, suddenly feeling tired, the sleepless night and anxiety finally getting to him. “I'm going to talk to Malia on Monday morning. I'm going to tell her that she needs to call Scott first if she has a problem and if she can’t get him, I'll be happy to help her. I also want you to know that if she does call when we're together, I already told Scott he was going to deal with it.” Stiles grinned at her, bringing her face closer to his. “He owes me with everything I had to do for him and Allison. I'm just collecting what I'm owed.” Stiles joked with a chuckle.

Lydia grinned and leaned in resting her forehead against his. “I think I like this idea,” she teased lightly as she ran her thumb over his cheek again. “But honestly, I know she’s your friend and you want to help and I respect that. But I think when it’s just us doing something the whole Scott thing is a good idea.” She said softly. “So, thank you.”

Stiles rubbed his hand up and down her back. "The next time something like this happens or you are aggravated about something, please come to me. I don't like it when we fight." He said, honestly before shifting gears now that their fight seemed to be over. "So, now that we're all made up," Stiles continued, standing up and tugging Lydia with him, before spinning her around, shoving her gently down on the bed and climbing up after hovering over her body. "We have five hours until my Dad comes home. I say we make the most of it."

Lydia smirked, "Someone's hoping for a little makeup lovin'," she teased as she slid a hand down his side. "Lucky for you I've missed you quite a bit lately." She whispered before tilting her head up and brushing her lips against his jaw. "Five hours is a long time, tell me Mr. Stilinski how do you feel about games?" She asked a hint of mischief in her voice as she continued to trail her lips along his jaw.

Stiles groaned at the feel of Lydia's lips on his skin as he shifted, spreading her legs with his knees, situating himself between her legs. “You have no idea how much I've missed you too.” He mumbled, running a hand up her thigh and under her dress with a smirk. He caught her gaze briefly, a hint of humor in his eyes. “I love games.” He whispered dipping his headpressing hot open mouth kisses against the column of her neck.

Lydia chuckled angling her head to the side and giving him better access to her neck, “I know you do,” she admitted her breath hitching in her throat at the feel of his hand moving even further up her thigh, “Though I feel like maybe we can save the games for later because I’m feeling a little needy,” she replied, a soft moan falling from her lips as his mouth closed over the sensitive spot on her neck. Lydia threaded her fingers through his hair and bit her bottom lip. “I’ve mentioned my love for your mouth yes?” She inquired her voice holding a hint of breathlessness to it.

Stiles grinned widely against her neck, moving his hand again, taking her dress with it. “Yes, I do think you've mentioned you like my mouth.” He added, “especially when I do this.” He bit the sensitive spot on her neck and felt her shiver beneath him. His fingers had just curled under the edge of her panties when he felt a heavy vibration coming from his pocket and he stopped, Lydia freezing under him. He placed his head against her shoulder and mumbled angrily, “You have got to be fucking kidding me right now.”

Lydia inhaled deeply, “I’m not angry...but if that’s her, you have to see my point,” she said a hint of humor in her voice, “It’s like the girl knows whenever you’re about to get some...and Stiles it’s makeup sex. It's gonna be _good_...so hot, and maybe even a little dirty.” She whispered as she lifted her head and let her teeth sink into his earlobe before sucking it into her mouth. She felt his phone vibrate again and she released his ear, “The universe hates me.” She huffed letting her head fall back to the bed.

Stiles let out a frustrated sigh, and pushed himself up sitting back on his calves, keeping one hand one Lydia’s hip and using the other to rip his phone out of his pocket. Reading the name on the screen, he hit the ignore button and pulled up his message screen, typing in something, pressing send and then throwing his phone to the other side of the room. “There. Done.” He added, leaning down and rubbing his nose against hers. “Now, I'm pretty sure you mentioned something about doing hot and dirty things to me.” He grinned before leaning down and capturing her lips in a soft kiss.

Lydia cupped his cheek and returned the kiss briefly before breaking it, a grin pulling at her lips. “Hmm I might have said something like that." Lydia gripped his midsection and shifted using her body weight to roll them over until she was straddling his waist and smirking down on him. “Now, before we get to the dirty part of tonight’s evening,” she commented her hand trailing down his chest, “Are you sure you don’t need to deal with that?” She asked her gaze briefly drifting towards the phone that was now across the room.

Stiles groaned and brought one hand to settle on her hip and the other he placed on the back of her neck, bringing her body down slightly so she was closer to him, his eyes boring into hers. “Lydia, the only thing I will ever need is right here with me.” Stiles said honestly, bringing her down to him and kissing her lovingly, trying to show her that she was his everything in every sense of the word.

Lydia relaxed beneath him and returned the kiss, feeling the emotion he put behind it and giving the same back. Stiles was her everything and she was pretty sure she was his too.


End file.
